Forbearance

by Brianna M. Hoyle

Chapter 11

We were preparing to return to Jalil’s house the next morning. The entirety of the Emir’s home was not burned, only the room where Abdul-Fazl and I fought. The rest of the house was safe once the flames were doused and both Hakim and I were given a room to rest in. Now, after eating breakfast at the table of a pleased Emir, far more pleasant of a man than what we witnessed the day before, we were making our return to Jalil’s.

I once again wore my normal clothes, as I prepared Darioush to leave. I did not wear my keffiyeh, nor had I bound my hair in its knot at the nape of my neck. The curls were free and wild, billowing around my face in a way that felt natural to me. I had said my goodbyes to the servant girl only, unwilling to face anyone else. Hakim, however, was wishing the Emir a farewell. I watched from a distance, shading my eyes from the early morning sun as Hakim bowed before the ruler of the province.

“I wish you prosperity and luck, your grace,” he said.

“And I wish you safe travels, my friend!” With his road to the Sultan no longer under threat of destruction by way of someone murdering his son, the Emir was a happy man.

Nadir himself approached me, dressed in the orange and brown attire I had first seen him in. “Farewell, Tall One,” he said with a crooked smile, eyes dancing. “Again, you saved my life.”

His hand came up to my face, lingering hesitantly in the air for a moment before he at last reached out and took one of my wild curls. He coiled it around his finger and gave it a gentle tug before letting the curl spring back to its original position where he tucked it behind my ear. “Forgive me,” he said with a grin. “I have wanted to do that since yesterday evening.”

I kept my gaze averted from his, for after his father’s scolding the day before, I could not feel comfortable in the presence of the Amirzade.

“Farewell, my lord,” I said, bowing low once his hand had returned to his side.

He laughed. “So stiff. Do relax, my friend.” His eyes were kind and he meant well, but I chose not to anger his father by speaking to him as anything more than a betrothed prince. “Ah, well,” he said with a shrug when I straightened and looked away. “Perhaps we shall meet again and you shall treat me different. Farewell, Sabriyya. No matter who you once were, I still owe you my life.”

He bowed and turned away from me, walking back to his father and I knew there was disappointment in his tone. When he reached the group, he said his goodbyes to Hakim, embracing the man and saying something to him in a low voice. Hakim patted his arm and nodded. Then Nadir turned toward one of the manservants and motioned for him to go to the stables, which he obediently did.

As Hakim continued his farewells to each member of the household, I watched the compassion in the man’s eyes that he had for each individual person and I wondered how a world such as the cruel one we lived in deserved to be blessed by one such as him. I turned to Darioush.

“We do not deserve him,” I said.

He nudged me gently with his nose and I rubbed between his ears in response, fondling him as he loved. My horse seemed to think somehow that I did deserve him. Perhaps somewhere down my path, I would one day come to deserve Hakim’s care, I would find redemption for what I had once done.

For now, I was content with returning to the home of Jalil and seeing Aminah, speaking with her and enjoying her company. To sit outside the house and watch the children play near the fountain, to talk and tease with Hakim, to enjoy simply being alive… I believed it could be done.

Hakim at last finished his goodbyes and approached us where we stood with his horse. He reached out a hand and gave Darioush a pat between the ears as well. “Shall we make our leave?” he asked of me. “Home is waiting.”

I nodded and stepped to the other side of Darioush as Hakim moved to his horse.

“Ah, it ended well, son!” I heard the Emir say loudly as we prepared to leave. “We successfully rid ourselves of that snake I have been attempting to snuff out for years! You are safe!”

Nadir looked up at his father. “Yes, of course. Safe. Nothing stands between me and the Sultan’s daughter.”

“Absolutely!” The Emir laughed and draped one arm around Nadir, the other arm around his younger son.

“If I were to pursue her, that is.”

The Emir paused, then looked strangely at Nadir. “What?”

I watched as the servant whom Nadir had sent off returned, bringing the Amirzade’s black stallion with him.

“Thank you,” Nadir said, taking the reins.

The Emir watched as his son adjusted the bags that hung from his saddle. “What are you doing? Where are you going?”

Nadir faced his father as he held his horse’s lead rope. “You will have to weasel your way into the Sultan’s palace some other way, Father. I shall not be a tool in your game.”

“Nadir… I—”

“Save it,” he said as he swung up into his saddle. “I do not want a family based on wealth. If it will be anything like this one, I don’t want that. I want a family based on love. I want to be free. Perhaps I shall be a nomad, have my own family and tribe that travels across the desert, going where the winds take us.” Nadir looked to the sky, shading his eyes as he stared out across the city.

“And where will you find a woman crazy enough to follow you out there?!” the Emir snapped, resorting to his old self as things were no longer going his way.

Nadir lowered his gaze and his eyes fell on me. Immediately I looked away, focusing my attention on Darioush.

“I don’t know,” he responded. “But there is one out there somewhere. And I certainly won’t find her in a palace on top of a pile of dainty pillows.”

“Nadir, I will not allow you to do this!” the Emir snapped, taking a step forward.

Nadir looked down at his father. “Stop me then,” he said. “Stop me from escaping this household that only functions on material things. Stop me from going out into the world and searching for who I am, who I could be. Stop me, if you dare.” His words were not harsh, but they were firm and full of conviction. He knew his father would not do it.

The Emir backed down in a subdued and silent anger. Nadir smiled. “Such as I thought. Farewell, Father. Farewell, Mother.” Then he addressed his younger brother, removing the rings from his hand and handing them down to the boy. “Farewell, Khaled. Look after the house. I believe you have always made more of the noble prince than I ever have.”

“Farewell, Nadir,” the boy said sincerely, a smile on his face as he accepted the rings. “May you find what you are looking for.”

Nadir turned his mount to face the east. He glanced at me where I had partially hid myself behind my horse. “Perhaps I have. Or perhaps it must find me.” He winked in my direction, then urged his horse into a run, leaving his home behind and riding out of the city in the opposite direction Hakim and I were headed, into the rising sun.

I turned away from the sight of the disappearing Amirzade. I looked to Darioush and hugged him, though I do not know why. I felt strange seeing Nadir leave, wondering why he had looked at me as oft as he did.

“Come, Sabriyya. Home awaits,” Hakim said.

I mounted Darioush, facing the west. “What shall I do when we return?” I asked Hakim as our horses trotted closer to the edge of the city where we would find Jalil’s home.

“Perhaps you shall help me,” Hakim said as he maneuvered his horse through the streets. “I am a lowly cart maker, and I could use a pair of strong hands to deliver my finished products. Or you could join Jalil’s business of breeding horses.”

I desired to help Hakim however I could, yet the breeding and caring of horses was something I knew I would enjoy myself doing. “Perhaps I should do both,” I said.

Hakim smiled. “And we shall decide in which area you are worth more in.”

“Another thing for the two of you to bicker over, I suppose,” I said, shaking my head. The wind picked up and whipped around me, tugging at my curls. I looked to the sky as I rode Darioush. Its blueness seemed deeper, as though a film had been pulled back to reveal that there was more to life than I once assumed.

Whatever I was to be, whatever would become of me, of two things I knew for certain: I would always have Darioush, my loving horse and loyal friend. And Hakim would be there with me. I thought of it now, seeing myself talking with him as we worked on a cart, putting together the wooden planks just right. I saw myself serving food with Aminah in the house of Jalil as we talked and laughed. I saw Darioush running across the desert plains with many horses following after him, beautifully bred and wonderful runners. I saw Nadir, finding a tribe that he would lead across the desert on journeys and adventures. I did not know if I would be there for that vision, but as he said, perhaps one day we would meet again and it would be different.

I turned to Hakim, for he had wisdom beyond my own. “What shall become of Nadir, since he has declined his title of Amirzade?”

Hakim gave me a knowing smile, his eyes full of understanding. “Worry for him not, child. He has chosen his path with confidence. We cannot know what road one shall take, only pray that one day our paths may cross again.”

I looked away from him, my hands tightening on Darioush’s reins. “I do not believe I desire our paths to cross again…” I whispered.

Hakim laughed softly. “You fear a feeling you’ve never felt before, but new things are not all terrible. When you meet again, you will both be different people, in good ways or bad, only time will tell. Do not fret, my child. The past is behind us. We can only look forward.”

I did as he said and looked forward. Whatever became of Nadir was his own doing. I would not trouble myself over it. In this moment, it was I whom I should concern myself with. I and my future.

“Shall we breed horses, Darioush?” I asked of him. “Shall we settle down and learn of Jalil’s trade?”

He tossed his head and whinnied happily, and I knew he desired to stay here.

I turned to Hakim. “Darioush has chosen this city as our home. I find I must agree, for where he goes, so shall I dwell.”

“Do you desire to know of your own lineage?” Hakim asked of me, tilting his head to the side in a peculiar way.

I did not answer immediately. I tugged on one of my curls, liking the essence of their wild freedom. “Why? The woman whose lineage we would be searching for no longer exists. I am Sabriyya of Idris.” I held my head high as I spoke.

I do not believe Hakim could have looked any more proud. “You are Sabriyya Bousaid of Idris,” he said. “You shall dwell in my home, I shall care for you as my daughter. We shall live not for yesterday, but for today and tomorrow.”

To this I nodded in agreement. “The world may become around us what it desires. It is you, I, and Darioush.”

Hakim smiled warmly. “Wherever we go…

“Whatever we do…” I continued.

And Darioush whinnied loudly to finish the sentence.

…we shall do it together.

The End